I'm an escapist. I'm drawn to my vision of an ideal life, and look for ways to create that feeling around me on a constant basis. This isn't necessarily bad, but I'm aware of the number of things I use that drug me into complacency and create the illusion of a perfect life without the reality of living it. I'm guessing that everyone has their drugs -- whatever it might be that calms your mind, tunes out what's problematic, and creates a feeling of calm inside. While some might use drugs or alcohol or food or work, I've found my own subset: checking email; tv shows on dvd; mindless reading; blogs of people whose lifestyles I envy (read: back to the earth, mothering/ cooking/ gardening/ environmentalism/ personal growth/ community).
When I engage in these things, I feel my mind calming down and myself better able to deal with things that might have been disturbing me. Or maybe, or also, distracting myself from doing real work, things that produce results rather than just pass time.
Other things I do calm me also, but feel rewarding at the same time. It's a different, deeper kind of soothing. Gardening, rare though it is; walking and hiking in beautiful places; housework that I'm doing so my mom doesn't have to; writing and editing my personal projects; dancing; playing with children. I believe these things have value, and that they are real, and by doing them, I am making myself a better person, not simply making myself feel better.
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